That Side Eye Actually Belongs to You: Blac Chyna & White Women Passing

I feel like there is a constant whirlwind lately where I talk about Blackness and beauty. Where I think about, discuss, and consider the lightness and darkness of skin and how that is read by others based on eye color and hair texture and hair length. It’s funny to me that this should feel like my life, when this WAS my life when I was in the midst of writing my dissertation almost 3 years ago. It seems like I’ve run a full circle of not having to think much about it, in the academic sense, to coming right back into thinking about in the mental health, relationship, sexuality sense...which I guess is all academic anyway. 

Blac Chyna is right now, the base of jokes, and name calling, and head shaking….

Read More
But Did You Break Up Though?: The Games We Play or Why We Stay

Over the last two weeks, there has seemingly been a theme among my clients and friends. It seems that folk are ready to break up. But of course, there are lots of barriers in the way to doing it right, because people are usually scared of the process. For those who don’t know, breaking up does NOT mean ghosting, hitting someone with the slow fade, making them mad enough to break up with you, or talking about how you need time to grow and that one day you might come back. When we break up, we do it right, we do it clean, and don’t leave false hope, or tarnish our character in the process.

Read More
Nappily Ever After: A Critical Black Sex Therapist Review

I feel like I have been talking and attempting to write about the Netflix movie Nappily Ever After a lot lately. In the Sex Talk After Dark, Shayla Tumbling and I discussed the movie and the impact of hair on sexuality. I am glad to have had the discussion, but I have also been wondering why this movie is so hard to write about. For those who have seen it, feel free to proceed. For those who haven’t and are okay with spoilers, you do the same. IF you are NOT into spoilers in anyway, it might be time to hit the “x” in the upper left hand corner because spoilers are definitely ahead!

Read More
Intergenerational Self Esteem

Often when we think of self-esteem, we think it happens on an personal level and that nothing interferes with it. Believe it or not, self-esteem is a concept that must be taught and is taught unintentionally and intentionally. The unintentional teaching of self-esteem usually teaches us how to have the lowest self-esteem possible. As a teen, this is happening on a variety of levels in every environment they enter.

Read More
On the Eve of Cuffing Season

Finally, that crisp September air is here! With the changing of the season in a week and all of our Autumn plans coming a whole lot closer, we know that cuffing season has arrived!!! With cuffing season usually seems to come a whole lot of expectations and the close kin, miscommunication. You know we have to work on that. Let’s talk about expectations and communication in cuffing season.

Read More
The Gaps to Your Orgasms: Where They Are & How to Find Them

A couple of weeks ago, on the eve of the new month, September, a podcast episode for Kings of the Heart release, with yours truly as a guest! We were talking about The Orgasm Gap, or in other words what is and where does the barrier lie that many women are not able to experience orgasm. So let’s talk about why women aren’t able to orgasm.

Read More
Shame Shame Shame has no place in parenting

The path to end parent shaming was an interesting one for me. With my goal of helping create a society that doesn’t condemn every parent for every mistake they make, I have forged a message and a voice that feels so far removed from the emotionally abused girl I once was. Growing up in the type of home that I did, with the history I have, makes it almost impossible to believe that I am here – as a professional, as a healing voice for parents, and as a sane woman capable of love (both giving and receiving). But, alas, here I am, on a mission to create a shame-proof parenting framework that will change the way we think about parenting.

Read More