It's not so much a power exchange, which I think could be a great thing within relationships and relational interactions, but it's more in the context of having and keeping the upper hand to have dominion over the relationship. So in a sense, some are seeking to be G God while their partner would remain a peasant sent do their bidding. Power.
Read MoreI read the self-help book called The Girls' Guide to Sex Education: Over 100 Honest Answers to Urgent Questions about Puberty, Relationships, and Growing Up by Michelle Hope. Let me be the first to say, this is not an area I often venture into. However, when you get to meet the author and hear why she created a book, even if it is not exactly directed at you, you read it!
Read MoreAnyway, there are many people who are not in the romantic situation they want to be in. Some feel like they only manage to attract fuck bois and fuck girls. Others feel like they are settling into relationships they would rather not be in (some of which are abusive, though not physically). And even more others are concerned they will end up being single for the rest of their lives because the formula to dating seems to be off for them. When dealing with this in session, with friends, or with strangers on the street, one of my most pressing questions is: “What do you want from a relationship?”
Read MoreCan you be in a SUCCESSFUL relationship with someone else? Now, I have to throw the emphasis on successful, because if you really wanted to, I am sure we could all find ourselves in a relationship. But just because you “got somebody” doesn’t mean they are the person for you, nor does it make the relationship good or successful.
Read MoreDating can be stressful. Adding to the sometimes stressful dating process is the fact that we are living in a time where we all have strong opinions about a lot of important topics. Because it’s a polarizing time, it’s important to be very clear about what issues are important to you when it comes to choosing potential partners. The days of avoiding conversations about politics, religion, and race is over. A lot of us have very strong opinions about these subjects and it’s important to figure out if you’re on the same page BEFORE developing feelings for someone who might have a conflicting world view.
Read MoreI think the third Friday of the month is one of my favorites! I get to read just about anything I want and then write about it!! Anyway, the book we are reviewing and talking about in this post is The Consent Guidebook: A Practical Approach to Consensual, Respectful, and Enthusiastic Interactions by Erin Tillman, The Dating Advice Girl! First of all, let me tell you that this book is wonderful! I will tell you why in a few moments, but I wanted to make sure I said that up front, in case we (...I) get lost in the sauce and go off on the tangents that seem to make me happy.
Read MoreIt is #minoritymentalhealthmonth!…Politics of respectability is a phrase that was coined by Evelyn Higgenbotham in 1993. The idea here, is that one monitors and presents oneself in an acceptable, pure, chaste, respectable, albeit Eurocentric, way.
Read MoreDefinition
For those who are not necessarily “in the know” the phrase Mind Your Business, is a verb, in which the person who has been told is expected to respect someone else’s private matters by refraining from being meddlesome, dropping their 2 cents (thought, opinions, or suggestions). This includes but is not limited to minding your own based on someone's appearance, attitude, situation(s), or other occurrences as defined by the giver of the statement either verbally, through text, or through body language (which includes but is not limited to putting up one hand in your direction, rolling their eyes, or turning away).
Read MoreI remember my time like it was yesterday. I was a sophomore in college, attending my school’s all nighter. I was super excited and went to meet my boyfriend for a night of dancing and fun. As I was cuddled up with my boyfriend, during a slow song, someone smacked me on the behind and kept walking. I immediately left my boyfriend’s arms to confront the person who did it, when he stopped walking and met up with his friends, I realized the anger I felt was laughed at by 6 big men, over 6’2, waiting for me “to say something”. I don’t know what would have happened to me if my boyfriend didn’t drag me to the car.
The same feelings of humiliation, anger, and even rage that came over me that night were the same when I heard about Shana Fisher. It was the same rush of emotions when I realized that the world must hate women and the realization that our culture is complicit.
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Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out.
What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.