5 Tips To Help You Come Out To Your Loved Ones

Well Pride Month is coming to an end - and while many took this month to celebrate by showing the world who they really are, telling their story, and waving that flag proudly, there are some people who felt that they had to celebrate silently. As a society we may have come a long way of accepting, acknowledging, and embracing different sexualities and gender identities - but there are still folk out there who refuse to be open minded which leaves some of the LGBTQ community feeling scared or anxious about expressing their sexuality to their loved ones.

It’s not uncommon for people to keep their sexuality a secret from their loved ones. Some feel it’s no one’s business, while others do it out of fear. The fear that if they tell certain people it could be the end of the relationship, so rather than lose them they decide to hide a part of who they are. But, can you really live your best life and be genuinely happy in any relationship where you can’t be your most authentic self?

I’m not saying that you have to tell anyone, but I am saying that doing so can be liberating. You can free yourself from feeling like you're keeping a secret, get rid of the anxiety and stress you’ve been harboring because of it, and give yourself the opportunity to love yourself for who you are, without feeling guilty about it. 

If you’re ready to tell someone in your life, but don’t know how to go about it here are a few steps:

1. Decide if You’re Really Ready to Declare It

Are you at a point in your life when you feel ready to come out? Are you comfortable with your sexuality or are you still discovering yourself? Remember that no one has a right to this information, so don’t feel as though you must tell them. If you choose to share, do so because you want to and do it when you feel comfortable.

And remember that once you make this declaration, it’s the beginning not the end.

2. Choose When, Where, and How

It can be a little easier to have this conversation when you set some specific time aside to do it, rather than just spontaneously shouting it. So pick a day, time, and a place to have this conversation.  I also encourage you to decide who you want to be there - is this a private moment between the two of you or do you want a supportive friend there? 

Set it up so you feel comfortable.

3. Set Boundaries & Enforce Them

Before having this conversation sit down and decide what you will and will not tolerate. Are there certain questions you don’t want to answer, certain behaviors that you won’t put up with? Figure out what your boundaries are and make sure you make them known when having the conversation. Examples of boundaries could be:

“I’m open to talking to you about this, but not if you’re going to yell”

“We won’t continue this conversation, if you make inappropriate jokes and comments”

“I don’t feel comfortable telling you everything about my past”

“ This information is between us”

Your news could be a shock to some, but that doesn’t mean they can disrespect you.

4. Remember Their Approval Isn’t Necessary

It’s easy to feel as though you need permission or approval from those in your life, especially your parents, in order to live the way you want - but it’s not the truth. While the hope is that everyone you open yourself up to will accept your truth, there is a chance that they won’t. And you know what, that’s okay. It may not feel good but it won’t and shouldn’t stop you from living your life. Continue to do you, despite anyone’s response or reaction. 

5.Let Go of Expectations

Anytime we open up and become vulnerable with others, we hope we’ll be met with love, support, and no judgement. However, it is important to keep in mind that people’s reactions can be unpredictable and it may not be what we’ve hoped. It might be alot for them to take in at that moment, so give them time to process. And try not to take their time to process as judgement or non-acceptance. 

I wish you all the best as you come out to your loved ones and I want you to know that you have our love and support! And just in case you need a reminder, you are worthy of love, pleasure, happiness, and everything in between. 

If you need help navigating your sexuality or need someone to talk to, schedule a consultation today!