Sex & Relationship Therapy
Have you been curious about sex therapy in general?
Wanting to know a little bit about what happens in a sex therapy session, what is on the table to be able to speak about? Then you have come to the right page! Sex therapy is great for individuals, regardless of if you are in a relationship or not. Let me tell you a little more about how it can work.
individual sex therapy or couples sex therapy, we got you:
Individuals in a relationship, we can talk about anything that gets in the way of your wanting to be sexual with your partner (s), how you feel about sex and sexuality, and how to increase your comfort having conversations with your lovers about what you want or need to increase chances of sexual satisfaction (or even orgasm, if that’s what you’re looking for).
Individuals NOT in a relationship we can talk about sexual history including sexual assault or rape, increasing comfort talking about sex, talk about increasing sexual esteem through increased comfort with yourself, learning to achieve orgasm, increasing body comfort, and working to mentally prepare for sex with others
If You are in a Relationship: Couples usually come when something feels off to one or all parties involved. We can work on identifying the problem, contributing factors, speak to what each of you want sexually, and make a plan of action to achieve it. We can work on all the same things we work on in individual sex therapy
What Makes Annodright Different?
We specialize in doing work around Black female sexuality. Most people usually ask what is Black sexuality and how does it differ from regular sexuality and how therapy might be different. When we say we focus on Black sexuality, it means that we are aware and take care with the various aspects that impact Black folk, especially Black women. Everyone does not have the same access to the expression of their sexuality especially not people of color and Black people.
Black folks are often hypersexualized and seen as sexually salacious, deviant, and unable to exercise self-control. This can make it so that Black men are seen as sexual studs or Black Bucks who will be a danger to white women. Black women are seen as sexually promiscuous, welfare queens to the point of being masculine and thus not able to be raped. These stereotypes and more, can make it that much more difficult for Black people, especially Black women, to access, make choices, and express their sexuality in authentic ways free from shame, guilt, and/or the white supremacist gaze.
You are in the right place if: You are ready to work, first and foremost. Therapy with any of the therapists here is WERK. We want you to show up, to speak up, and work it out.
If you are ready to understand the difference between sex and sexuality (one is what you do, the other is who you are) as it relates to your sex life and your life in general.
Finally, you are in the right place if you are ready to take full ownership of your sexuality, confront narratives, and get to that place of pleasure and fulfillment.
FAQs
Here are a few questions that we get about sex therapy.
What is Sex Therapy?
Sex Therapy is a specific type of psychotherapy where you get to address things related to your sex(uality), including but not limited to: low sexual desire, lack of desired sexual frequency, working out questioning your sexual orientation, mismatched sexual desire, intimacy, satisfaction, sexual dysfunctions etc. But then there are all the other things, including space to talk about what feels like a deeper disconnection from your partner that manifests in sex, what feels like a boring sex life, learning to enjoy oral sex, being able to experience orgasm with with your partner(s), opening/doing work toward opening your relationship, decreased attraction to your partner and so much more. All of this plus more us encompassed in sex therapy.
What do most people address in sex therapy?
Believe it or not, most people aren’t really coming to sex therapy to talk about sex as much as they are coming to learn HOW to talk about sex. Many of us have been raised with conservative or religious backgrounds that have told us sex is not good and have spoken to the type of person we are if we seek it out or if we enjoy it. So many people feel hella guilty and conflicted. So we really end up talking a lot more about what we inherited from others more than we talk about our specific sex acts. Other than that many women come to speak about a desire to experience orgasms for the first time or for the first time with their partner. But we are also trauma informed, so we also have a fair amount of people coming to speak about past sexual traumas.
Am I normal?
This is one of the MOST asked questions in sex therapy. More times than not You ARE! We all get worried about how we are performing sexually, about our bodies, and if it means there is something wrong if we don’t achieve mind blowing Hollywood level orgasms when we are being sexual with our partners. So yes, you can learn to achieve orgasms. NO, you are not weird, or not normal. You simply have a different sexual experience, upbringing, and things to work out to make you sexuality your own.
When is it time to see a sex therapist?
My rule of thumb is that if you have asked this question, it is probably time to see one. Generally, if you are feeling disconnected from your partner, having difficulty experiencing orgasm, mismatched sex drives, or past sexual traumas or narratives that are creeping up and impacting your sexuality from the way you dress to when/if you are involved in sexual acts, then it is time to see a sex therapy. You can see one when you are ready to learn more about yourself, your sexuality, and how to increase pleasure for yourself and/or your partner(s)
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You will talk to someone on the AnnodRight team who will answer your questions about therapy, cost, and who can help you get scheduled!
Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out.
What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.