In response to a negative event, we tend to become hyper vigilant and we can resort to unhealthy alternatives at times. So the question becomes, What the hell do I do now?
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2020 has been a year already and we have not even touched September at the time of this writing. For me personally, I started this year in frustration and grief about my body. I started off healing from a surgery without noting the toll it would take on my mental health to not be able to move the way I wanted to move and to be in a different consistent pain.
Looking back, this sounds like a foreshadowing of the year ahead.
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Therapy without politics sounds a lot like polite conversation, as my friend Dr. Lexx would say. You don’t go to therapy to just feel good for a moment, you go to therapy to heal from a lifetime of hurts with skills to continue on with.
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At times, our self-awareness informs us that compliments can make us feel uncomfortable, anxious, insecure, and bothered. However, we somehow can’t escape the natural reflex to give that “look” when we do receive one and in turn we display avoidant behavior.
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Whether it’s my clients or my friends, I constantly hear people talking about who they’re dating, and I often wonder if they're just wish dating. You know wish dating, when you wish the person you’re dating lived up to that list you made in your head.
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How does the idea of walking on eggshells, feeling paranoid, and taking forever to make a decision sound like to you? Exactly, sounds like anxiety!! To be successful, creative, innovative or anything more than average, you need to make room for error.
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Just because the month is coming to an end doesn’t mean that your masturbation should. So to make sure that y’all continue to show yourself a little self love all year long I wanted to give you some resources to make sure it happens.
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Between my clients, friends, and followers I’ve realized that there are a lot of folk out there who don’t know much about masturbation or are still carrying the terrorizing lies they heard from way back when. But hey, it’s okay to admit you don’t know a whole lot about it or that you have some questions. What better time to answer them than National Masturbation Month?!
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Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out.
What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.