AnnodRight Offerings: The Secret is Out, You're the Connection
Lately I've been going to a lot more expos, hair shows, and conferences to bring awareness to colorism and texturism and its impact on mental and sexual health, as well as meet new people.
Imagine: Here I am at my table, front and center, Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease on one side, and a few info cards for Sex Talk Parent Edition, and Goal Digging on the other. People are walking up interested but a bit confused as they try to figure out how everything connects. Then I have a light bulb moment and realize that the connection is so obvious for me because I’ve seen and have studied all the threads that connect one thing to the other for so long that sometimes I forget that other people are not in my head and they don't live there! (And I know some of you are guilty of that too, but that's a post for another day.)
I’m constantly talking about how colorism and texturism play a role in sexual health, mental health, and other aspects of your life - but today I really want go into detail about how each of my offerings connect and can be used to help you live your best life in every way!
Let’s Break It Down
The main thing that brings all of my stuff together is you. Think about it, you are the common denominator in all aspects of your life. You are what shows up in your love life, in your work life, as a kick ass parent, and as a boss ass boss. No matter what aspect of your life you’re looking at the one thing they will all have in common is you, and everything that I offer is literally founded on that. I want to help you start your journey by realizing how self esteem, depression, anxiety, and our mental health in general affects how we navigate successfully or a little less successfully in all the areas of our life starts with us. It starts with how people are going to perceive us, which also impacts how we perceive ourselves.
How we perceive the essence of who we are is often dependent on what people tend to pick out about being the most Black of how a Black woman can show up. What's Blacker than your hair texture, what's Blacker than your skin tone? Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease is foundational because it is about the you that you are right now, in this moment, and all the things that have lead up to you being who you are. It’s about addressing what aunties, grandmas, cousins, friends, schools, and media - and what they have to say about what you look like and what your value is. Often times we act out the value we believe we have. If we don't believe we have value, we act like we don't have value - we behave in ways that say we don't have value. So a person with low self esteem who doesn't think their hair is worthy of being in the same space as other people, who doesn't think their skin tone or their Blackness can ever amount to whiteness is going to come down a lot harder on themselves. They're going to be a person that thinks that they have to work harder, and even when they do, they believe they are not as smart or worthy.
How we feel about our hair and skin tone also determines how we show up at work and whether or not we're verbal. It plays a role in how we choose to style ourselves in the morning, what we think of as being professional, and whether or not we fit that bill. Your perception of your appearance plays a role in whether or not you consider yourself worthy to have a partner who is going to like you, love you, cherish you, and treat you well. It can even dictate whether or not you're even going to ask your partner for the sex that you want. So, when I talk about what we look like and our skin tone and hair texture being foundational, it’s because it’s a huge piece of who we are and plays a large role in how we get treated in the world.
In Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease my goal is for you to love your skin and hair unconditionally because if you don’t, colorism and texturism can negatively impact sexual and mental health. The narrative you have about your skin tone and hair texture can easily get lost in conversation in regard to mental health and I'm making sure that I bring it back and make it the foundation of your self-love journey. With Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease I make sure that we really address and work out those narratives, because once we work out those narratives and realize how your own inner self talk impacts you, you can make a change. Once you feel you are the shit, that you are worthy and capable and stop living to please and make white folks comfortable, you get into a space where you can actually think and dream big. This means you are now in the position where planning for the life that you want is not something that you're not just able to do it's something that you're ready and eager to do - and that's where the Goal Digging comes in.
Goal Digging
My Goal Digging webinar and workbook allows you to look at where your life is right now, and look back at the past without fear because you've already started to examine it through Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease. So now you are able to plan for a future that is exactly what you want and nothing less. My Goal Digging webinar is about how we plan and mark the journey from where we are to where we actually want to be, and a person who digs what they look like is able to do that with a little bit more ease. A person who digs what they have to offer and is not comparing themselves to anyone else and has in some ways divested from white supremacy. These are the people that are able to make things happen because they know they don't have to play by rules that do not serve them.
Yes, you read that right, you can make the rules! But, this can be hard to realize if you’re letting others dictate how you live life. I mean if you let someone tell you how to wear your hair, what’s the chance that they aren’t dictating other pieces of your life, such as your career and relationships? So that's how Goal Digging connects back to Cocoa Butter and Hair Grease - once you are loving what you look like you will be more confident and ready to conquer your dreams and turn them into reality. When you come across any barriers you will be prepared and able to adjust for them.
Sex Talk Parent Edition
Now Sex Talk Parent Edition comes into play because those people who are digging themselves and digging their goals are able to tackle things even more fully with the next generation. If you have been scared to talk about things, you best believe that you're kid has already picked up on it. Take a moment to really just think about it - when you have been in a situation where someone has given you half the information or less than half what did you do?
You jumped your ass right to conclusions, you broke your neck jumping to conclusions. And if you broke your neck, your back, your legs, and a few fingers jumping to those conclusions you best believe kids do the same thing. When we don't talk about something our kids will go and fill in the blanks themselves. They go and try to figure out what it means on their own, whether it comes from the depths of their imagination or some shit they saw on tv, they're going to fill in the blanks. And when we are hurt and our sexuality, body image, self esteem and all these pieces that are wrapped up in our hair and skin tone haven’t been faced it's kinda hard to make goals and kinda hard to say to your kid that "I gotta have this convo with you about sex." Or, if you're thinking that nobody wants to have sex with you because you’re dark and your hair is nappy, thinking nobody wants to be with you, or thinking that you're not worthy of love how can you effectively talk to your kids about sex? If this is how you feel about yourselves, then you’re going to be scared that you will pass that message to your kid even by accident, which means you may not be having the conversation with them about sex and sexuality in the way they need to hear from you. Your kids, neices, nephews, and cousins need to know your values and your thoughts about sex and sexuality, because you best believe everyone else is going to give their values and thoughts - no matter how ignorant, uneducated, or just straight up wrong they are!
Now that we’ve taken a deeper look into each of my offerings, I want to say it one more time for those in the back, my products connect because of YOU! You are the common denominator, you are the one that goes through your life in your body, you're the one who makes or doesn't make your goals, and you're the one who teaches or doesn't teach your offspring, nephews, or nieces about sex. Each of my offerings help you to live your most free and authentic life in every area, as a sexual being, as a woman, and as a parent!