Since Black Panther came out, there have been so many articles talking about it, critiquing it, and praising it. But one thing remains almost steadily true, almost none of those articles talk about the main character, T’Challa. T'Challa is seen as not being interesting because some say he doesn’t “do” much. But that is where people are wrong. I see him as a hero for the introvert-- or at least the introvert that lives within me.
Read MoreI have been of the mind that Black women are (secretly?) the most feared “minority” population. I say this because when Black women speak, and stand in their truth, everyone is implicated; white people and PoC alike. There seems to be a vested interest in silencing the stories of Black women because in those stories, who is free from blame?
Read MoreA clean house can be transformative to life. Not seeing clutter in our living areas can give us a whole new perspective of our homes. By creating super-easy habits, we can take away a lot of the stress that mess creates.
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Read MoreHere is a little disclosure about me, I don’t generally like autobiographies. I find that they can be terribly dull and full of pomp. I know I read The Last Black Unicorn by Tiffany Haddish, but if you’ll remember, I also said that the writing left much to be desired. But Gabrielle Union's book We're Going to Need More Wine: Stories That Are Funny, Complicated, and Are True was a delight to read! It was finished before I was.
Within this book, there were so many nuggets can could be the area of focus. We could talk about how we pretend to be something/someone we are not so that we can fit into various groups. We could also talk about what can happen to a relationship when our significant others' family doesn't like us. We can talk about the impacts of sexual assault, being with the wrong person, or finding the right person. But what I want to talk about is the process by which Gabrielle Union, not only created a wholly new unit with her husband, Dwayne Wade, but also what her experience in Blackness confirms and re-teaches us.
Read MoreAside from the fact that this is a disgusting display of toxic masculinity rooted in patriarchy that would believe a woman’s whole self should be dedicated to belonging to someone in order to be considered someone of worth, I do want to have a real discussion about this. I especially want to talk to the self identified women who see this, laugh, but in reality take this to heart…
Read MoreI got more advice yall. I mean why shouldn’t you get as much as you can from a sex therapist, right? So, here we go again. This is the second post in honor of some of the clients I see. A week or two ago, I did a post on how to get through when you just broke up with someone. You can read that HERE. Today we are moving on to those who aren’t sure if the person they are with, is the person they should be with. In other words, those who feel stuck and aren’t sure how to move forward.
If I’m writing about a book, it must be the 3rd Friday of the month. This month, I want to focus on an oldie but a goodie. I allow myself to read 12 books a year. For some, this seems like a lot. For others, is seems a small amount. Allow me to give you context. I have been a person who has had a goal to read 100 books in a year and exceeded my own expectations. I could go through a book in a matter of days. The problem was, it didn’t help my social life at all. I constantly was reading (enjoying every minute of it, if i say so) but suffering socially. In my efforts to have more social time, I reduced my goal and reduced it again. This year I am at 12 books….but I cheat. I cheat by saying I mean 12 NEW books, not 12 books that I may have read before. LOOPHOLE! It is in this way that I am writing this blog on Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince…
Read MoreCuffing season is coming to an end and so are a lot of relationships. Some of y'all didn’t want to be lonely for the New Year, Valentine's Day etc. and are getting around the breaking up with people that you thought could have been special and folk you knew weren’t. Either way, breaking up with someone is never easy and still can hurt. As a sex and relationship therapist in the Washington D.C. metro area, I see lots of people who are in transition: breaking up, getting back together, tryna fix it, etc. For now, we focus on breaking up and how to get through…
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Recently I had the honor of meeting with Dr. Jess for her podcast, Sex with Dr. Jess and we spoke about sexual compatibility. I don’t think it’s much of a secret that I think folk use the idea of being sexually compatible as a cop out.
What I mean is that we often work hard as hell to NOT try but then blame everything on sexual compatibility. We will say there is no chemistry, that we feel off, and have really done no work. Now, you know that I am a whole assed sex and relationship therapist so ima give you a short run down on the tea spilt in that conversation with Dr. Jess.